职场发展中级21:03confidence

Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are

肢体语言塑造你自己

社会心理学家艾米·卡迪用亲身经历告诉你:肢体语言不只影响别人怎么看你,更会反过来改变你自己的想法、感受甚至激素水平。只要每天用两分钟摆出「高能量姿势」,就能提升自信、扛住压力。演讲兼具科学实验、幽默段子和励志故事,是练习职场表达与自信心态的绝佳材料。

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台词(123 句)

00:00

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast So I want to start by offering you a free no-tech life hack, and all it requires of you is this: that you change your posture for two minutes.

翻译:Joseph Geni 校对:Morton Bast 一开始,我想送大家一个免费、不用任何设备的生活小妙招,你要做的只有一件事:改变你的姿势,坚持两分钟。

00:28

But before I give it away, I want to ask you to right now do a little audit of your body and what you're doing with your body.

不过在揭晓之前,我想请你现在就给自己的身体做个小小的「体检」,看看此刻你的身体在做什么。

00:35

So how many of you are sort of making yourselves smaller? Maybe you're hunching, crossing your legs, maybe wrapping your ankles.

你们当中有多少人正在把自己「缩小」?也许你在含胸驼背、跷着二郎腿,或者把脚踝交叠着。

00:41

Sometimes we hold onto our arms like this. Sometimes we spread out. (Laughter) I see you.

有时我们像这样抱着胳膊,有时又整个人摊开。(笑声)我看到你了。

00:50

So I want you to pay attention to what you're doing right now. We're going to come back to that in a few minutes, and I'm hoping that if you learn to tweak this a little bit, it could significantly change the way your life unfolds.

我希望你留意一下自己此刻的样子。过几分钟我们会再说回它。我相信,只要你学会稍微调整一下,就可能极大地改变你人生展开的方式。

01:02

So, we're really fascinated with body language, and we're particularly interested in other people's body language.

我们对肢体语言非常着迷,尤其对别人的肢体语言格外感兴趣。

01:11

You know, we're interested in, like, you know — (Laughter) — an awkward interaction, or a smile, or a contemptuous glance, or maybe a very awkward wink, or maybe even something like a handshake.

你懂的,我们会关注那些——(笑声)——尴尬的互动、一个微笑、一个鄙夷的眼神、一个特别别扭的眨眼,甚至是一次握手。

01:27

Narrator: Here they are arriving at Number 10. This lucky policeman gets to shake hands with the President of the United States.

旁白:他们正抵达唐宁街 10 号。这位幸运的警察得以和美国总统握手。

01:35

Here comes the Prime Minister -- No. (Laughter) (Applause) Amy Cuddy: So a handshake, or the lack of a handshake, can have us talking for weeks and weeks and weeks.

首相来了——哎,没握上。(笑声)(掌声)艾米·卡迪:所以说,一次握手,或者一次没握成的手,能让我们议论好几个星期。

01:48

Even the BBC and The New York Times. So obviously when we think about nonverbal behavior, or body language -- but we call it nonverbals as social scientists -- it's language, so we think about communication.

连 BBC 和《纽约时报》都在讨论。所以显然,当我们谈到非语言行为,也就是肢体语言——我们社会科学家管它叫「非语言信号」——它本质上是一种语言,让我们联想到沟通。

02:01

When we think about communication, we think about interactions. So what is your body language communicating to me? What's mine communicating to you?

一说到沟通,我们就会想到互动。那么,你的肢体语言在向我传递什么?我的又在向你传递什么?

02:08

And there's a lot of reason to believe that this is a valid way to look at this. So social scientists have spent a lot of time looking at the effects of our body language, or other people's body language, on judgments.

有很多理由让我们相信,这个视角是站得住脚的。社会科学家花了大量时间研究:我们的肢体语言,或者别人的肢体语言,是如何影响判断的。

02:21

And we make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language. And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes like who we hire or promote, who we ask out on a date.

我们会仅凭肢体语言就下笼统的判断和推断。而这些判断能预测非常重要的人生结果,比如我们会雇用或提拔谁、会约谁出去。

02:32

For example, Nalini Ambady, a researcher at Tufts University, shows that when people watch 30-second soundless clips of real physician-patient interactions, their judgments of the physician's niceness predict whether or not that physician will be sued.

举个例子,塔夫茨大学的研究者纳里尼·安巴迪发现:当人们观看 30 秒真实医患互动的无声片段时,他们对医生「和不和善」的判断,竟能预测这位医生会不会被病人起诉。

02:50

So it doesn't have to do so much with whether or not that physician was incompetent, but do we like that person and how they interacted?

所以这跟医生医术高不高明关系不大,关键在于:我们喜不喜欢这个人、喜不喜欢他跟人打交道的方式?

02:57

Even more dramatic, Alex Todorov at Princeton has shown us that judgments of political candidates' faces in just one second predict 70 percent of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial race outcomes, and even, let's go digital, emoticons used well in online negotiations can lead you to claim more value from that negotiation.

更夸张的是,普林斯顿大学的亚历克斯·托多罗夫发现:仅凭一秒钟对候选人面孔的判断,就能预测 70% 的美国参议员和州长选举结果。甚至在数字世界里,在线谈判中善用表情符号,还能帮你在谈判中争取到更多利益。

03:21

If you use them poorly, bad idea. Right? So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others, how they judge us and what the outcomes are.

当然,用得不好就适得其反了,对吧?所以一提到非语言信号,我们想到的都是:我们怎么评判别人、别人怎么评判我们,以及会带来什么结果。

03:30

We tend to forget, though, the other audience that's influenced by our nonverbals, and that's ourselves. We are also influenced by our nonverbals, our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology.

可我们往往忘了,还有另一个观众也在被我们的非语言信号影响,那就是我们自己。我们自身的想法、感受和生理状态,同样会受它左右。

03:41

So what nonverbals am I talking about? I'm a social psychologist. I study prejudice, and I teach at a competitive business school, so it was inevitable that I would become interested in power dynamics.

那我说的是哪些非语言信号呢?我是一名社会心理学家,研究偏见,还在一所竞争激烈的商学院任教,所以我迟早会对「权力关系」产生兴趣。

03:54

I became especially interested in nonverbal expressions of power and dominance. And what are nonverbal expressions of power and dominance?

我尤其对权力和支配的非语言表达感兴趣。那么,权力和支配的非语言表达到底是什么样的?

04:03

Well, this is what they are. So in the animal kingdom, they are about expanding. So you make yourself big, you stretch out, you take up space, you're basically opening up.

就是这样的。在动物世界里,它们的核心是「扩张」。你把自己变大,舒展身体,占据空间,基本上就是把身体打开。

04:14

It's about opening up. And this is true across the animal kingdom. It's not just limited to primates.

关键就是「打开」。这一点在整个动物界都成立,不仅限于灵长类。

04:21

And humans do the same thing. (Laughter) So they do this both when they have power sort of chronically, and also when they're feeling powerful in the moment.

人类也是一样。(笑声)无论是长期握有权力的人,还是只是当下感觉自己很有力量的人,都会做出这种姿态。

04:30

And this one is especially interesting because it really shows us how universal and old these expressions of power are.

这一个尤其有意思,因为它真切地告诉我们:这些权力的表达有多么普遍、多么古老。

04:38

This expression, which is known as pride, Jessica Tracy has studied. She shows that people who are born with sight and people who are congenitally blind do this when they win at a physical competition.

这个被称为「骄傲」的姿态,杰茜卡·特雷西研究过。她发现:无论是天生能看见的人,还是先天失明的人,在体育比赛中获胜时都会做出同样的动作。

04:51

So when they cross the finish line and they've won, it doesn't matter if they've never seen anyone do it. They do this.

所以当他们冲过终点线赢得比赛时,哪怕从没见过别人这么做,也会自然地摆出这个姿势。

04:57

So the arms up in the V, the chin is slightly lifted. What do we do when we feel powerless? We do exactly the opposite.

双臂高举成 V 字形,下巴微微抬起。那么当我们感到无力时会怎样?我们做的恰恰相反。

05:03

We close up. We wrap ourselves up. We make ourselves small. We don't want to bump into the person next to us.

我们把自己封闭起来,把身体裹紧,把自己缩小,生怕碰到旁边的人。

05:09

So again, both animals and humans do the same thing. And this is what happens when you put together high and low power.

同样,动物和人类在这一点上也如出一辙。而当你把高权力和低权力放到一起,就会出现这样的情形。

05:16

So what we tend to do when it comes to power is that we complement the other's nonverbals. So if someone is being really powerful with us, we tend to make ourselves smaller. We don't mirror them.

在权力面前,我们往往会和对方的非语言信号「互补」。如果有人在我们面前表现得很强势,我们通常会把自己缩得更小,而不是模仿他。

05:27

We do the opposite of them. So I'm watching this behavior in the classroom, and what do I notice?

我们做的和他们相反。所以当我在课堂上观察这种行为时,我注意到了什么?

05:34

I notice that MBA students really exhibit the full range of power nonverbals.

我发现,MBA 学生把权力相关的各种非语言信号展现得淋漓尽致。

05:42

So you have people who are like caricatures of alphas, really coming into the room, they get right into the middle of the room before class even starts, like they really want to occupy space.

有些人简直就是「头狼」的漫画版:课还没开始,就大步走进教室,径直站到正中央,仿佛非要占据地盘不可。

05:51

When they sit down, they're sort of spread out. They raise their hands like this. You have other people who are virtually collapsing when they come in. As soon they come in, you see it.

他们坐下时整个人摊开着,举手时也是大大方方这样。而另一些人一进门几乎就「塌」了下去,你一眼就能看出来。

06:00

You see it on their faces and their bodies, and they sit in their chair and they make themselves tiny, and they go like this when they raise their hand.

从他们的脸上和身体上都能看出来:坐在椅子上把自己缩成一小团,举手时也是这样怯生生的。

06:08

I notice a couple of things about this. One, you're not going to be surprised. It seems to be related to gender. So women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men.

关于这一点,我注意到了几件事。第一件,你不会感到意外——它似乎和性别有关。女性比男性更容易做出这种「缩小」的动作。

06:19

Women feel chronically less powerful than men, so this is not surprising. But the other thing I noticed is that it also seemed to be related to the extent to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating.

女性长期感觉自己不如男性有力量,这并不奇怪。但我注意到的另一件事是:它似乎还和学生参与课堂的程度、以及参与得好不好有关。

06:32

And this is really important in the MBA classroom, because participation counts for half the grade. So business schools have been struggling with this gender grade gap.

这在 MBA 课堂上尤其重要,因为课堂参与占了成绩的一半。所以商学院一直在为这道「性别成绩差距」头疼。

06:42

You get these equally qualified women and men coming in and then you get these differences in grades, and it seems to be partly attributable to participation.

同样资质出色的男生和女生进来,最后成绩却出现差距,而这部分似乎要归因于课堂参与度。

06:50

So I started to wonder, you know, okay, so you have these people coming in like this, and they're participating.

于是我开始琢磨:好吧,这些人带着不同的姿态进来,然后参与课堂。

06:57

Is it possible that we could get people to fake it and would it lead them to participate more? So my main collaborator Dana Carney, who's at Berkeley, and I really wanted to know, can you fake it till you make it?

有没有可能,我们让人「假装」一下,就能让他们更积极地参与?于是我和我的主要合作者、伯克利的达娜·卡尼特别想知道:你能不能「假装到成真」?

07:10

Like, can you do this just for a little while and actually experience a behavioral outcome that makes you seem more powerful?

也就是说,你能不能只装那么一小会儿,就真的产生某种行为上的变化,让你显得更有力量?

07:17

So we know that our nonverbals govern how other people think and feel about us. There's a lot of evidence. But our question really was, do our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?

我们已经知道,非语言信号左右着别人对我们的看法和感受,这有大量证据。但我们真正想问的是:非语言信号会不会也左右我们对自己的看法和感受?

07:28

There's some evidence that they do. So, for example, we smile when we feel happy, but also, when we're forced to smile by holding a pen in our teeth like this, it makes us feel happy.

已经有一些证据表明确实如此。比如,我们开心时会笑,但反过来,当我们像这样用牙咬着一支笔被迫「笑」起来时,也会真的感到开心。

07:42

So it goes both ways. When it comes to power, it also goes both ways. So when you feel powerful, you're more likely to do this, but it's also possible that when you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful.

所以这是双向的。在权力这件事上也一样:当你感到有力量时,更容易摆出这种姿态;而反过来,当你假装很有力量时,也更可能真的感到有力量。

08:02

So the second question really was, you know, so we know that our minds change our bodies, but is it also true that our bodies change our minds?

所以第二个问题其实是:我们知道心念会改变身体,可反过来,身体会不会也改变心念呢?

08:12

And when I say minds, in the case of the powerful, what am I talking about? So I'm talking about thoughts and feelings and the sort of physiological things that make up our thoughts and feelings, and in my case, that's hormones. I look at hormones.

我说的「心念」,在有权力的人身上具体指什么?我指的是想法、感受,以及构成这些想法和感受的生理机制。就我而言,那就是激素——我研究的是激素。

08:25

So what do the minds of the powerful versus the powerless look like? So powerful people tend to be, not surprisingly, more assertive and more confident, more optimistic.

那么,有权力的人和无力感的人,内心世界有何不同?不出所料,有权力的人往往更果断、更自信、更乐观。

08:37

They actually feel they're going to win even at games of chance. They also tend to be able to think more abstractly.

他们甚至在纯靠运气的游戏里也觉得自己会赢,而且往往更善于抽象思考。

08:45

So there are a lot of differences. They take more risks. There are a lot of differences between powerful and powerless people. Physiologically, there also are differences on two key hormones: testosterone, which is the dominance hormone, and cortisol, which is the stress hormone.

所以差别很多,他们更敢于冒险。有权力和无力感的人之间存在诸多差异。在生理上,还有两种关键激素的差异:睾酮,也就是「支配激素」;以及皮质醇,也就是「压力激素」。

09:01

So what we find is that high-power alpha males in primate hierarchies have high testosterone and low cortisol, and powerful and effective leaders also have high testosterone and low cortisol.

我们发现:灵长类群体中位高权重的「头狼」雄性,睾酮高、皮质醇低;而强大又高效的领导者,同样是睾酮高、皮质醇低。

09:17

So what does that mean? When you think about power, people tended to think only about testosterone, because that was about dominance.

这意味着什么?一说到权力,人们过去往往只想到睾酮,因为它关乎支配力。

09:24

But really, power is also about how you react to stress. So do you want the high-power leader that's dominant, high on testosterone, but really stress reactive?

但其实,权力还在于你如何应对压力。你会想要一个虽然强势、睾酮很高,但一遇压力就崩的领导者吗?

09:33

Probably not, right? You want the person who's powerful and assertive and dominant, but not very stress reactive, the person who's laid back.

大概不会,对吧?你想要的是既强大、果断、有掌控力,又不会一遇压力就慌、能沉得住气的人。

09:41

So we know that in primate hierarchies, if an alpha needs to take over, if an individual needs to take over an alpha role sort of suddenly, within a few days, that individual's testosterone has gone up significantly and his cortisol has dropped significantly.

我们知道,在灵长类的等级社会里,如果某个个体突然要接管「头领」的位置,那么短短几天内,它的睾酮就会显著上升,皮质醇则显著下降。

10:01

So we have this evidence, both that the body can shape the mind, at least at the facial level, and also that role changes can shape the mind.

所以我们有这样的证据:身体能塑造心念(至少在面部表情层面如此),角色的转变也能塑造心念。

10:10

So what happens, okay, you take a role change, what happens if you do that at a really minimal level, like this tiny manipulation, this tiny intervention?

那么,如果你把这种角色转变缩到极小的程度,只做这么一点点微小的调整、微小的干预,又会怎样?

10:18

"For two minutes," you say, "I want you to stand like this, and it's going to make you feel more powerful." So this is what we did.

你对人说:「就两分钟,我要你像这样站着,它会让你感觉更有力量。」于是我们就这么做了。

10:26

We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment, and these people adopted, for two minutes, either high-power poses or low-power poses, and I'm just going to show you five of the poses, although they took on only two.

我们决定把人请进实验室做个小实验:让他们在两分钟里,要么摆出高能量姿势,要么摆出低能量姿势。这里我给大家展示其中五种姿势,不过每个人只摆两种。

10:42

So here's one. A couple more. This one has been dubbed the "Wonder Woman" by the media.

这是一种,再来几种。这一个被媒体戏称为「神奇女侠」姿势。

10:51

Here are a couple more. So you can be standing or you can be sitting. And here are the low-power poses. So you're folding up, you're making yourself small.

再来几种。你可以站着,也可以坐着。而这些是低能量姿势:你把身体蜷起来,把自己缩小。

11:01

This one is very low-power. When you're touching your neck, you're really protecting yourself. So this is what happens.

这一个能量特别低。当你摸着自己的脖子,其实是在自我保护。接下来发生的是这样。

11:09

They come in, they spit into a vial, for two minutes, we say, "You need to do this or this." They don't look at pictures of the poses.

他们进来,先往小瓶里吐口唾液;然后在两分钟里,我们对他们说:「你要么摆这个,要么摆那个。」他们并不看姿势的图片。

11:16

We don't want to prime them with a concept of power. We want them to be feeling power. So two minutes they do this. We then ask them, "How powerful do you feel?" on a series of items, and then we give them an opportunity to gamble,

我们不想用「权力」这个概念去暗示他们,我们要的是让他们真切地「感受到」力量。所以他们这样保持两分钟。之后,我们通过一系列题目问他们:「你感觉自己有多有力量?」接着给他们一个赌一把的机会,

11:28

and then we take another saliva sample. That's it. That's the whole experiment. So this is what we find.

然后再采集一次唾液样本。就这样,整个实验就是这么简单。我们的发现如下。

11:34

Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, we find that when you are in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble.

先看风险承受力,也就是那次赌博:我们发现,处在高能量姿势组时,有 86% 的人会选择下注。

11:42

When you're in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and that's a whopping significant difference.

而处在低能量姿势组时,只有 60% 的人下注——这是一个相当显著的差距。

11:48

Here's what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease.

再看睾酮:相比进来时的基线水平,高能量组的睾酮上升了约 20%,低能量组则下降了约 10%。

12:01

So again, two minutes, and you get these changes. Here's what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase.

再强调一次:就两分钟,就能带来这些变化。皮质醇方面呢?高能量组下降了约 25%,低能量组则上升了约 15%。

12:14

So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down.

所以,两分钟就能引发这些激素变化,把你的大脑调成两种模式之一:要么果断、自信、从容;要么高度紧张、感觉整个人「关机」了。

12:28

And we've all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so it's not just others, but it's also ourselves.

这种感觉我们都体会过,对吧?看来,非语言信号确实左右着我们对自己的看法和感受——不只是别人,还有我们自己。

12:38

Also, our bodies change our minds. But the next question, of course, is, can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways?

而且,身体确实能改变心念。但接下来的问题当然是:摆几分钟的「力量姿势」,真的能实实在在地改变你的人生吗?

12:47

This is in the lab, it's this little task, it's just a couple of minutes. Where can you actually apply this?

这毕竟是在实验室里,只是个小任务,只有短短几分钟。你在现实中到底能把它用在哪里?

12:53

Which we cared about, of course. And so we think where you want to use this is evaluative situations, like social threat situations.

这当然是我们关心的。我们认为,你最该用它的地方,是那些被评判的场合,也就是有社交压力的场合。

13:04

Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends? For teenagers, it's at the lunchroom table. For some people it's speaking at a school board meeting.

哪些场合你会被评判,哪怕是被朋友评判?对青少年来说,是午餐桌上;对某些人来说,是在校董会上发言。

13:13

It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this or doing a job interview.

也可能是做一次路演、像这样做一场演讲,或者去参加一次面试。

13:19

We decided that the one that most people could relate to because most people had been through, was the job interview. So we published these findings, and the media are all over it, and they say, Okay, so this is what you do

我们觉得,大多数人最有共鸣、也最普遍经历过的,就是求职面试。于是我们发表了这些发现,媒体一拥而上,说:「好,所以你就该这么做——

13:32

when you go in for the job interview, right? (Laughter) You know, so we were of course horrified, and said, Oh my God, no, that's not what we meant at all.

去面试的时候就摆这个姿势,对吧?」(笑声)我们当然吓坏了,连忙说:「天哪,不,我们完全不是这个意思!」

13:39

For numerous reasons, no, don't do that. Again, this is not about you talking to other people. It's you talking to yourself.

出于种种原因,千万别那样做。再说一遍,这不是让你在别人面前摆姿态,而是你和自己「对话」。

13:46

What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this. You're sitting down. You're looking at your iPhone -- or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out.

面试前你通常在做什么?你会这样:坐着,盯着自己的 iPhone——或者安卓手机,我可不想冷落任何人。

13:54

You're looking at your notes, you're hunching up, making yourself small, when really what you should be doing maybe is this, like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes.

你低头看着笔记,弓着背,把自己缩成一团。可你真正该做的,也许是这个——比如躲进洗手间,对吧?去做吧,给自己找两分钟。

14:03

So that's what we want to test. Okay? So we bring people into a lab, and they do either high- or low-power poses again, they go through a very stressful job interview.

这正是我们想测试的。于是我们把人请进实验室,让他们再次摆出高能量或低能量姿势,然后去经历一场压力极大的求职面试。

14:13

It's five minutes long. They are being recorded. They're being judged also, and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback, so they look like this.

面试长达五分钟,全程录像,还会被评委打分。而评委受过专门训练,不给任何非语言反馈,所以他们全程就是这副表情。

14:25

Imagine this is the person interviewing you. So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled.

想象一下,面试你的就是这样一个人。整整五分钟,毫无反应——这比被人当场喝倒彩还难受。

14:31

People hate this. It's what Marianne LaFrance calls "standing in social quicksand." So this really spikes your cortisol.

人们特别讨厌这种情形。玛丽安·拉弗朗斯把它称作「站在社交流沙里」。它会让你的皮质醇飙升。

14:39

So this is the job interview we put them through, because we really wanted to see what happened. We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them.

所以我们让他们经历的就是这样一场面试,因为我们真的很想看看结果如何。之后,我们请四位编码员来看这些录像。

14:46

They're blind to the hypothesis. They're blind to the conditions. They have no idea who's been posing in what pose, and they end up looking at these sets of tapes, and they say, "We want to hire these people," all the high-power posers.

他们不知道我们的假设,也不知道分组情况,更不知道谁摆过什么姿势。看完这些录像后,他们说:「我们想聘用这些人。」——而这些人全都是高能量姿势组的。

15:01

"We don't want to hire these people. We also evaluate these people much more positively overall." But what's driving it?

「我们不想聘用那些人。而对前面那些人,我们整体评价也高得多。」可到底是什么在起作用?

15:08

It's not about the content of the speech. It's about the presence that they're bringing to the speech. Because we rate them on all these variables related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech?

不是发言的内容,而是他们带进发言里的那种「气场」。因为我们从各种与能力相关的维度给他们打分,比如:发言结构是否清晰?

15:19

How good is it? What are their qualifications? No effect on those things. This is what's affected. These kinds of things.

内容有多好?资历如何?这些维度上并没有差别。真正受影响的是另一类东西,是这些方面。

15:26

People are bringing their true selves, basically. They're bringing themselves. They bring their ideas, but as themselves, with no, you know, residue over them.

说到底,是他们把真实的自己带了进来。他们带来的是自己,带来的是自己的想法,而且是以本来的面貌呈现,没有任何遮蔽或包袱。

15:34

So this is what's driving the effect, or mediating the effect. So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me,

所以真正在起作用、在传递这种效应的就是这个。可当我把这些告诉别人——身体改变心念、心念改变行为、行为改变结果——他们对我说:

15:49

"It feels fake." Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. It's not me. I don't want to get there and then still feel like a fraud.

「这感觉太假了。」对吧?我不是说过「假装到成真」吗?可他们说:「这不是我。我不想真的走到那一步,却仍觉得自己是个骗子。」

15:57

I don't want to feel like an impostor. I don't want to get there only to feel like I'm not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor

「我不想觉得自己是个冒牌货,不想好不容易走到那里,却觉得自己根本不该在这儿。」这句话真的触动了我,因为我想给你讲一个关于「冒牌感」的小故事,

16:08

and feeling like I'm not supposed to be here. When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times.

关于那种「我不该在这儿」的感觉。19 岁那年,我出了一场非常严重的车祸,被甩出车外,翻滚了好几圈。

16:17

I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic.

我被甩出了车。醒来时,我人在一间脑损伤康复病房里,已经被学校劝退,还得知自己的智商下降了两个标准差——这对我打击极大。

16:32

I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So I'm taken out of college, I keep trying to go back.

我之所以清楚自己的智商,是因为我一直把「聪明」当作自我认同,小时候还被称作「天才儿童」。就这样,我被迫退了学,却一次次想回去。

16:41

They say, "You're not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but that's not going to work out for you."

别人对我说:「你读不完大学的。你还有别的事情可做,但上大学这条路,你走不通。」

16:47

So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, there's nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that.

我为此苦苦挣扎。我得说,当你的身份认同被剥夺——你最核心的自我认同,对我而言就是「聪明」——当它被夺走时,没有什么比这更让人感到无力了。

17:00

So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked. Eventually I graduated from college.

所以我感到彻底的无力。我拼命努力、努力、再努力,偶尔走运,又努力,又走运,不停地努力。最终,我从大学毕业了。

17:08

It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here.

我比同龄人多花了四年,还说服了我的「天使导师」苏珊·菲斯克收下我。就这样,我一路读到了普林斯顿,心里却一直想着:我根本不该在这儿。

17:20

I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people.

我是个冒牌货。而在我第一年演讲的前一晚——普林斯顿一年级的演讲,就是给 20 个人做一场 20 分钟的报告——

17:27

That's it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "I'm quitting."

就这么点事。可我太害怕第二天被人「拆穿」了,于是打电话给她,说:「我不干了,我要退出。」

17:34

She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and you're staying. You're going to stay, and this is what you're going to do.

她说:「你不许退出,因为我可是在你身上赌了一把,你必须留下。你要留下来,而且你要这么做。

17:41

You are going to fake it. You're going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. You're just going to do it and do it and do it, even if you're terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience,

你就假装下去。别人请你做的每一场报告,你都去做。你就一遍一遍地做下去,哪怕你吓得魂飞魄散、浑身僵硬、仿佛灵魂出窍,

17:52

until you have this moment where you say, 'Oh my gosh, I'm doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this.'" So that's what I did.

直到有一刻你会说:『天哪,我真的做到了。我已经成为这样的人,我真的正在做这件事。』」于是我照做了。

18:00

Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, I'm at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, I'm at Harvard, I'm not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here."

读了五年研究生,又过了几年,我到了西北大学,后来又去了哈佛。到了哈佛,我已经不太会去想这件事了;可在很长一段时间里,我心里一直念着那句话:「我不该在这儿。」

18:11

So at the end of my first year at Harvard, a student who had not talked in class the entire semester, who I had said, "Look, you've gotta participate or else you're going to fail," came into my office. I really didn't know her at all.

在我到哈佛第一年快结束时,有个整整一学期没在课上发过言的学生走进了我的办公室——我曾对她说:「听着,你必须参与课堂,否则会挂科。」我其实一点也不了解她。

18:25

She came in totally defeated, and she said, "I'm not supposed to be here."

她进来时一脸挫败,对我说:「我不该在这儿。」

18:35

And that was the moment for me. Because two things happened. One was that I realized, oh my gosh, I don't feel like that anymore.

那一刻对我意义非凡,因为有两件事同时发生了。其一,我意识到:天哪,我已经不再有那种感觉了。

18:43

I don't feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling. And the second was, she is supposed to be here! Like, she can fake it, she can become it.

我已经不那么想了,可她还在那样想,而那种感觉我太懂了。其二,我心想:她当然该在这儿!她可以假装,她也可以「假装到成真」。

18:50

So I was like, "Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here! And tomorrow you're going to fake it, you're going to make yourself powerful, and, you know -- (Applause) And you're going to go into the classroom, and you are going to give the best comment ever."

于是我对她说:「不,你就该在这儿!你本来就属于这里!明天你就去假装,把自己变得强大——(掌声)你会走进教室,发表一段最精彩的课堂发言。」

19:10

You know? And she gave the best comment ever, and people turned around and were like, oh my God, I didn't even notice her sitting there. (Laughter) She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it,

你猜怎么着?她真的发表了一段最精彩的发言,同学们纷纷回头,心想:天哪,我之前都没注意到她坐在那儿。(笑声)几个月后她又来找我,我这才意识到:她不只是「假装到成功」,

19:23

she had actually faked it till she became it. So she had changed. And so I want to say to you, don't fake it till you make it.

她是真正「假装到成为了那样的人」。她彻底改变了。所以我想对你们说:别只是「假装到成功」。

19:31

Fake it till you become it. Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.

而是要「假装到你真正成为它」。做得足够多,直到你真的成为那样的人,并把它内化于心。

19:38

The last thing I'm going to leave you with is this. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes.

最后我想留给你们的一句话是:微小的调整,能带来巨大的改变。

19:45

So, this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors.

就两分钟。两分钟,两分钟,两分钟。在你走进下一个充满压力、要被评判的场合之前,花两分钟试试这个动作——在电梯里、在洗手间隔间里、在关起门的办公桌前。

19:58

That's what you want to do. Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down.

这就是你该做的。把大脑调到最能应对当下情境的状态:让睾酮升上去,让皮质醇降下来。

20:05

Don't leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didn't show them who I am. Leave that situation feeling like, I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.

别在事后懊恼:「唉,我没能让他们看到真正的我。」而要带着这样的感觉离开:我真的把我是谁说了出来、展现了出来。

20:14

So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing, and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple.

所以我首先想请你们两件事:一是亲自试试力量姿势,二是把这背后的科学分享出去,因为它其实很简单。

20:25

I don't have ego involved in this. (Laughter) Give it away. Share it with people, because the people who can use it the most are the ones with no resources and no technology and no status and no power.

我对此毫无私心。(笑声)把它传出去,分享给别人。因为最需要它的,恰恰是那些没有资源、没有技术、没有地位、没有权力的人。

20:37

Give it to them because they can do it in private. They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes, and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life.

把它送给他们,因为他们可以私下里做。他们需要的只是自己的身体、一点隐私和两分钟,而这就能大大改变他们人生的走向。

20:45

Thank you. (Applause)

谢谢。(掌声)